MUTTS 'N' MISCHIEF
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Services, Classes and Prices
  • Books
  • Seminars and Workshops
  • Peritis absurdus Canis Familiaris Podcast
  • Contact
  • Reviews and Testimonials
  • Mutts & Mischief Blog
  • Shock collar ban
  • Stream for MInd

Self love, you and your dog

4/22/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
Self love, you and your dog

Did you know humans have emotional buckets too? It's easy to become so focused on dogs sometimes it isn't always realised we get a lot of our material from human psychology. The concept was originally designed by Brabban and Turkington (2002).
Our buckets fill all of the time and sometimes more than others and that's totally OK. Sometimes recognising that you have an emotional bucket can begin to help you with initiating self care and a healing journey for yourself.

You can download your very own emotional bucket here​ https://mentalhealth-uk.org/blog/the-stress-bucket/
Lots of people struggle with a secure emotional connection with their dog or puppy, especially in the first days and weeks and during adolescence or when adopting a dog.

Feelings of frustration and annoyance towards the puppy or dog are big indicators of this, from barking, separation anxiety vocalisations, nervous behaviours, mouthing, not wanting to be friends with every dog they meet, showing nervous behaviours indoors and outdoors or not being able to cope with visitors, toileting, the list goes on and on.

This isn't a criticism post, this is for people who want to feel connected to their dog or puppy and just don't feel it, this is the first step in acknowledging help is needed, gently explaining a lack of connection to people who aren't ready to hear it is much harder and not what this post is about.

People can feel disconnected for lots of reasons, grief for a past dog, the puppy blues (which I'm obsessed with raising awareness with), anxiety, depression, life frustrations, work problems, problems at home or with family, not feeling good enough or feeling lost.

Alternatively there can be far too high expectations or not realising that many behaviours that the guardian doesn't like stems from a lack of a secure emotional connection even when all of the five freedoms are met under the Animal Welfare Act 2006 (UK law).

So how can you reduce these feelings and work on a secure emotional connection? First of all you need to heal yourself and show yourself some self love.

You may not feel that you deserve it, but you do. Set time aside for yourself, remember if your puppy or dog seems to be connected to someone else in the home, the dog walker or trainer/behaviourist don't worry or focus on this. Focus on you and your healing and self care, then the emotional connection will come. You maybe healing from a personal trauma and need to work through the process of healing to securely connect.

Going through a trauma is exhausting and you may feel deflated, alone, unmotivated, tired and emotional and that's OK! Trauma exhausts the body mentally and physically and guess what dogs and puppies also need sleep for their cognitive functioning and for their mental and physical wellness, so if you find your sleeping a lot, don't worry, even if your puppy or dog isn't right by your side on the sofa or bed and they are sleeping on the floor it isn't a problem.

You don't always have to be doing things with your puppy or dog to begin securing an emotional connection with them, there isn't enough emphasis placed on the value of sleep for puppies and dogs.

If you need to exercise and start becoming active little bursts of playing tug or fun scent games can be a huge pleasure for both you and your dog or puppy. Scentwork Foundations https://youtu.be/D_0Fn_VtRXE
Tug foundations https://youtu.be/jzawF6AA5FA

Going for a walk for your mental health and your dog or puppy, make it about sniffafaris, your getting fresh air, their getting mental stimulation and your doing another interactive activity https://youtu.be/OFf7kaFKp7w
​

You formally have permission to remove all of the pressure, pressure of training, pressure of walks focused on walking to heel (because that doesn't meet yours or your dogs needs at all) , pressure of what others are thinking. When we do begin to process our emotions a lot of it can come down to what others think, especially with our dogs.

Who cares what others think, it's about you and your dog or puppy, focus on your own well being, needs and mental health and that of your dog or puppy.
​
Enjoy them for their personality and who they are, enjoy you for your personality and who you are. Ditch formal training and play games like pattern games, https://youtu.be/PrKaYbx9daM.
Focus on some home made enrichment, you're making something which gives you a sense of achievement and you've made your dog or puppy something too, win, win! https://youtu.be/g9tY6cVwd5w
Destruction boxes https://youtu.be/lwoNhx-2m1g
Or spring is here, build an enrichment garden! https://youtu.be/JwUfqJXTCO8
Sensory enrichment with plants https://youtube.com/shorts/-VxBoY10jCU?feature=share
Dig pit https://youtu.be/Yvt8C1UHc98
Remember that you need to focus on self love and enhancing your relationship with your dog or puppy begins with you taking care of you and don't bother with what others think, your relationship with your dog or puppy is yours, not theirs and your journey will not look the same as anyone else's. But if you follow the above and take one day at a time, your relationship will be so much more beautiful than theirs!
​
References
Brabban, A. & Turkington, D. (2002) The Search for Meaning: detecting congruence between life events, underlying schema and psychotic symptoms. In A.P. Morrison (Ed) A Casebook of Cognitive Therapy for Psychosis (chap 5, p59-75).
Depending on device tap image to see full infographic and image description.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Blog

    For Mutts & Mischief

    ​If you enjoy my blogs and
    would like to support my
    work, you can support
    me by buying me a Coffee!
    Buy Me A Coffee


    Archives

    February 2025
    November 2024
    September 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    July 2022
    April 2022
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    October 2019
    March 2019
    September 2018
    August 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    June 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017

Or are you looking for support and would like to get to know us better?

If the answer is yes then click the image below to join my free facebook group. What is Mutts & Mischief Community!
​
​So it is what it says on the tin! Its a community that is international of clients and colleagues with the most supportive and friendly people on the planet. Dog Trainers and behaviourists from all over the world!

Why did I set up such a mammoth group?

​I wanted to have a group exclusively for clients. For support and build on friendships from classes or individual consults. I want clients to see you are not alone with your dog and the problem you maybe having that you are not the first and won't be the last! I wanted a safe place where clients could trade stories good and bad in one place for free!

I also wanted a safe place for the trainers and behaviourists I mentor too.

Why do this for free?

Because when I say I offer an holistic service I really do. It isn't about the money it is about you and your dogs. You and your dogs are all that matter.

​So I wanted to encourage people to do homework and build better quality relationships with their dogs. So 5 years ago I had a mad idea and set up the 100 days of dog training challenge in 2019. Once a day people would spend 5 minutes plus training their dog. Recording it and uploading their video onto the community. Every participant received a certificate.

​What I didn't count on was how many professionals wanted to join and how fast word would spread. So in 2020 I set up a 366 days of dog training challenge.
​
We have clients in America, Greece, Norway, Denmark and Spain. We have Trainers from Greece, Norway, Isle of Wight, America and many more countries. As well as dog trainers and trainee behaviourists: I mentor all over the world.

​So yes this group is free. It is still primarily for clients and for people to get to know me but we now have Pawsitive Wednesdays running, where I share a narrated free video tutorial for you to try with your dog and all are welcome to upload their video to the group for support from members!



What are you waiting for? Come and join us!!
Picture
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Services, Classes and Prices
  • Books
  • Seminars and Workshops
  • Peritis absurdus Canis Familiaris Podcast
  • Contact
  • Reviews and Testimonials
  • Mutts & Mischief Blog
  • Shock collar ban
  • Stream for MInd